How is the dating scene in Nairobi ?

To be honest, I enjoy when people ask me “how is the dating scene in Nairobi?” Why you might ask?

Well because I can give them my low down dirty truth about Nairobi and its NON EXISTENT yes I said non existent dating scene (as far as I and 8 other girls are concerned). So yes 8 out of 10 girls I know think that Kenya, Nairobi needs an injection of Men, not males, not boys MEN! Men with style, men with charm, men who care about what and how they look, men who compliment, men who respect and most importantly MEN who look good. MEN! MEN! MEN! MEN! (Men who know how to treat a woman – and just so you know, just because I am independent – whatever that means – doesn’t mean I don’t know or understand the value of a Man)

You don’t agree? Please, please tell me WHERE I can meet them.

Let me tell you about the men in my life: the Nairobi experience – I won’t speak for Kenya I haven’t been around (yet) . You know how am always telling you about how I love the men in my life for the lessons and “special” love they are always imparting on me? I can’t quite figure why I love these ones. Oh yes, I got it, I love the men in my life: Nairobi edition BECAUSE, well they make me appreciate the past men in my life and anticipate the future ones too. They make me see that there can always be worse out there… Let me tell you a little about them… And if you feel am exaggerating, then show me different

The observer
He will sit at the bar all night…OBSERVING you. Always looking in your direction. Always, but will never approach you and will not even buy you a drink. The next time (that is next week) when you come back to the same lounge, he will still observe you, never makes a move, never talks to you just watches you. You don’t know if its because he is interested, if you have something on your face or if he is just cross eyed.

The old ‘sugar daddy’
The perv… Need I say more? (I often tell people that if the ‘old guy’ was even remotely cute then perhaps you could consider listening) – but what’s interesting with the Nairobi Sugar daddy is that sometimes its like he even expects You to be the one to make the move (lol)

The ‘wannabe’
He is either a wannabe rapper, actor or something. You can’t quite tell where he’s at in his life. Dresses down and up in Jeans and a t-shirt. He could have been picked straight out of a music video with the stylist forgetting to adjust his accoutrement…He talks to you in an accent that you can’t quite identify… You’re still trying to figure him out

The west African
I want to talk about these ones, but I might be biased….I think I will devote a whole other post to this phenomenon in Nairobi. Believe it will be worth your read. Just know that most Kenyan girls love these men; is it for their style? Money? Or their smooth talk?

The expatriate
He is French, German, American, West African, Dutch or something… Hangs around the usual spots; Westlands, brew bistro – he is supposedly chic, hangs around his own type and well is assumed to make lots of money. Sometimes cute, but never around long enough; always traveling or just here for a 6 month contract. And well often times just isn’t your type or hangs around his own kind. I have nothing against the expats; am sometimes considered one myself.

The ‘wannabe’ expat
He is the one Kenyan guy that only has expat friends. Hence only dates expats and does like the expat does….the local girls are still wondering how to get him to pay attention to them.

The drunk
Self explanatory – funny story- leaving my house at around 7am on a Saturday to attend a training. I met ‘the drunk’ on the bus. He tried to hit on me, he was just walking out of some bar heading home. Aged around 29 from my observation, it was an end of month and I couldn’t get past the mix of beer and whiskey pouring out of him…. Sad story; he was decent looking.

The married guy
He’s the observer probably drunk and acting like the perv… You’re wondering why he isn’t home taking care of his family? You can see the ring or he even tells you (hoping you’ll give him a lil something something)

The cute guy /good body/Great dresser/smooth talker
Huh? Vat iz dat? So so so sporadic

The elegant/charmer/gentlemen
Error! Error! Re-booting.

Just a decent guy?
…. Show me the way

The list is non-exhaustive; tell me about your experience; Nairobi, Douala, Abidjan, Lagos, Montreal, Paris, NY…. I wanna know

Nims out.

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7 COMMENTS

    • Ouch….but you can find these men ANYWHERE..not just Nairobi. Here is my fav though "You don’t know if its because he is interested, if you have something on your face or if he is just cross eyed." ROTFL

    • I know right! Her writing cracks me up. But on the real though, its everywhere, but here chale…its desperate.

      • Oh my! Is it just as bad for you wherever you are??? Then there is a real issue, I think we need to get on our knees and ask God to send us some MEN because the situation is critical. Have a lovely day ladies!

  1. Don’t be too hard on the observer, the dating game is a harsh place for a shy guy. It has sometimes taken me weeks to work up the courage to speak to a lady I admired. Sometimes my shotty nerves even find a way to convince me that she wouldn’t be interested anyway’s, so sometimes I never even say a word.

    Sad, I know

  2. Lord bless your soul JE & give you the courage to speak to ‘her’ the next time you see her. A compliment, a hello, just a sign you acknowledge she’s there. And remember to come tell me about it – all our experiences count 🙂

  3. Oh my! Is it just as bad for you wherever you are? Then there is a real issue, I think we need to get on our knees and ask God to send us some MEN because the situation is critical. Have a lovely day ladies!

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