The changes within a relationship by Nina Mayers

Changes by Nina Mayers

“We gotta make a change…

It’s time for us as a people to start makin’ some changes.” Tupac

From the title and above quote one would think that am talking about the changes around us, but no, here I am once again giving my “expert” advice (see disclaimer) from a female perspective on the changes that one undergoes within a relationship. You would be surprised how perspectives differ.

This is a story about Trina and Kevin. Trina never really expected much from men; having been in and out of numerous unsuccessful relationships. She had even began to give up on the male species all together, until one day – hold and behold, Kevin came along. He felt different. He treated her like a princess, doing all the right things and saying all the things that mattered. Like most men, in the courting phase; he accustomed her to loving messages, unconditional love, attentive conversations, flirtatious scenarios and utmost and constant attention. Trina was sure to receive an email each morning; a text at lunch, a phone call in the evening and an occasional gift ‘just because’. Experience told her to not let her guard down, to be cautious and take it all with a grain of salt. Love on the other hand told her, this man cared about her; so she should start reciprocating his love. And so like any normal person, Trina began to show the same attention she had been getting all along, for her it was only conventional. What better way to express oneself than to share with another. Bliss. A loving relationship based on mutual respect was developing and like most women, she began to develop a dependency – not an unhealthy one; but one of love. It continued like this for months.

And then one day, Kevin became complacent. The balance of power and emotion shifted completely; his caring words from days past no longer came at an habitual pace; his emails decreased and his text messages became sporadic. The phone calls still came, but Trina in this new quest for a “good relationship” compensated by filling in the void Kevin had left. Now she was sending the messages in the hopes that he would reply. When he didn’t call she often dialled and when it often frustrated her, she simply assumed that he was perhaps busy and that now that they were an ‘item’ it was okay for her to do her part too….

You know this story, you know how it ends…. Sometimes the Trinas suddenly become the dependent women whose lives center around the Kevins; she puts him first and he knowing that she loves him no longer has to work for her attention. He becomes distant to the point of even being “unrecognisable” and still the love of Trina inhibits her from detaching herself emotionally and saying… “stop! Hold on, this is not the man I fell in love with” – she begins to make excuses for him and well… When the man is not mature enough to change his ways, too often too sadly the relationship ends.

Don’t get me wrong, some Trinas end up restoring the balance and the Kevins resume their better ways.

But for the purposes of “The changes within a relationship”, I want to deal with the Kevins that do change and the Trinas that let them. So changes….

Should we condemn Trina for reciprocating this love? And what of Kevin who all of a sudden doesn’t follow the norms previously established? Is it safe to say that, Kevin was simply enticed by the chase? And if so, should we the Trinas of this world spend our times playing hard to get? Do the games ever stop?

Am asking questions; I unfortunately don’t have the answers too – so my “expert” advice suddenly just goes down the drain along with all the misconceptions and theories I could come up with, because at the end of the day there is a few things and only a few things I would like to impart on you my dear friends…

A relationship is about respect. For me, this means the world. This also means that when you decide to accustom, teach and create a certain routine within a relationship; you have to give yourself the means and the latitude to ensure that you will CONTINUE to give that same treatment you started off with. Why? Because as human beings, as emotional women (strong & attached) we fall in love with THAT aspect of your behaviour – we hope that you remain that same man; because if not – what makes you different from Jason down the street – who could simply decide to do all that and just get in bed with me? For someone like Trina who is at wits end; I wouldn’t blame her if she ended the relationship as soon as she saw signs of change. Not because she’s not happy; but because her alarm is ringing off in her head and she’s saying, “no, i don’t want to do this again”, because if she is right then you will be another number in her life, another disappointment and if she is wrong – what’s the price to pay to find out?

To the men, I say #Be respectful; and learn to discern the changes around you – communicate those changes, you will only be considered a better man for talking about them – rather than playing into the blinded loving naiveté of your women.

I personally simply play hard to get :) (works for me) – but I learnt the hard way (one time) that sometimes; you pass up an opportunity when you choose to be strong headed. So I will let each woman decide for herself. I don’t think there is a right way to deal with it, the heart wants what the heart wants and the mind well, you know how that goes…. However, when you do notice that “Change”, speak up! Don’t assume that it will get better; don’t make excuses and please, please don’t become equally as complacent. “Take a stand” – because at worse; you will be WRONG -But you will have avoided that “transitional phase of what ifs and whys” and at BEST you will have addressed the issue and continue to live a prosperous relationship. Nota Bene: Remember, addressing an issue doesn’t mean making an “issue” out of it; be calm, poised and reasonable when doing so; don’t attack and chastise, just put the problem out there without sounding accusatory or judgemental; because remember you are not complaining about the “relationship” you are simply asking why the change ? (so that the relationship can take back the full cruise course it was in)

To the women, I say doubly, “be respectful” … Give as much as you want back (even though we know our motherly natures allow us to give so much more). Learn to detach yourselves emotionally so that you can make your demands. And although this whole text has been about the men that change, some women do too… So be real and always be the one whom he intially came for…

That’s it from me tonight… (I have to end by saying; some change is good IF you are both on board with it :) )

Deuces!

P.S: When am happy, you’re happy… so if you think you fallen into the trap – hit the “RESET” button; its never too late to make a change ;)

Editors Note: I would particularly, like to hear back from the men on this one… Because my assumptions are purely based on observation – perhaps they too can tell us why they change.

Les Qr Code, ça sert à quoi au juste ?

Le QR Code est à la mode. Les annonceurs, artistes et autres “smartphoniens” y voient un nouvel outil de publicité et de partage d’informations. Et tous semblent s’y mettre.

Inventé en 1994 au Japon, le Qr code a fait son chemin. D’abord en Asie, puis aux Etats-Unis, il continue maintenant sa conquête en Europe comme le nouveau code-barres.

En fait, à la différence d’un code barres classique, le code QR peut contenir beaucoup d’informations : 7089 caractères numériques, 4296 caractères alphanumériques, contrairement au code-barres normal qui ne peut stocker que de 10 à 13 caractères ou 2953 octets !

Les dix commandements du QR Code selon Unitag :

I. Tu choisiras ton type de QR Code.
II. Tu personnaliseras ton QR Code.
III. Tu contrasteras les couleurs.
IV. Tu adapteras la taille de ton code.
V. Tu sélectionneras ton support.
VI. Tu optimiseras la visibilité de ton QR Code.
VII. Tu t’assureras de la présence d’un réseau téléphonique adapté.
VIII. Tu indiqueras le fonctionnement de ton QR Code.
IX. Tu offriras de la valeur ajoutée.
X. Tu mèneras ton QR Code sur un site MOBILE.

Si besoin est, il existe des sites permettant de créer son propre QR Code comme : qrcode.kaywa

Alors, effet de mode ou réel usage ?? Partagez vos avis. 

Aliko Dangoté 51ème fortune mondiale et première fortune africaine

Aliko Dangoté première fortune africaine. Dans le dernier classement des milliardaires mondiaux publié par le magazine Forbes, le Nigérian Aliko Dangoté est devenu l’homme le plus riche d’Afrique.

Celui qui était déjà l’un des hommes forts du continent se voit decerné pour  la première fois le titre d’Africain le plus riche avec une fortune estimée à 13,8 milliards de dollars en mars 2011 (soit 9,8 milliards d’euros, ou encore 6418 milliards de francs cfa) .Entre 2010 et 2011, sa fortune a augmenté de 557% (plus forte progression en pourcentage sur un an de toute la liste ndlr).

image Aliko Dangoté 51ème fortune mondiale et première fortune africaine
Aliko Dangoté 51ème fortune mondiale et première fortune africaine

Dangoté Cement la source de la richesse

C’est l’entrée en bourse de Dangote Cement  intègrant tous les investissements sur le continent africain de Dangote qui a fait bondir sa fortune. À elle seule, Dangote Cement représente 25% de la capitalisation de la bourse de Lagos (Dangote est le plus gros producteur de ciment du continent africain NDRL).

Les autres sociétés d’Aliko Dangote cotées en bourse sont Dangote Sugar Refinery, Dangote Flour Mills et National Salt Company. L’homme d’affaires nigérian possède encore plusieurs autres sociétés qui n’ont pas été introduites en bourse.

Tia Norfleet The First African-American Woman In NASCAR ?

Growing up the daughter of a minister and a professional racecar driver (Bobby Norfleet) Tia Norfleet could be The First African-American Woman In NASCAR ?

Tia Norfleet is used to breaking barriers. She’s used to being overlooked, and she well knows the low odds and risks involved. None of this matters though. Racing … is her life. Female drivers are rare enough, but an African-American as well? It’s never been done.

NASCAR’s Managing Director of Corporate Communications is Ramsey Poston. While he remains eager for Tia to help diversify the sport, he’s also realistic of the challenges and pitfalls that she — like any young prospect — will surely face.

Tia Norfleet
Tia Norfleet

“The chances of success for any driver are always tough. These are the best drivers in the world. It’s like any other professional sport.”

Poston however, is also cognizant of a key and distinct advantage Tia has.

“When you grow up in the sport and you have the guidance and tutelage of a father figure to explain to you the right path to take for success, than it’s always helpful.”

While Tia has learned to live in the moment, she realizes the implications of her career and will stop at nothing to earn her NASCAR stripes. Even though she’s the only black female in the sport, she doesn’t hesitate. In fact, she accelerates.

“I like to hang in there with the guys,” she says eagerly. “I really love to compete. At that moment [when I was 14], when my adrenaline was rushing and I was just so into it I realized that this is something I could actually do for free.”

Racing, after all, is her destiny.

Projecteur sur ABaCoDe, association pour développer le basketball en Ouganda

Deux ans après un premier séjour à Kampala, la plus grande ville d’Ouganda, Simon Gillespie et Nicolas Michaud ont remis les pieds en Afrique cet été. Leur mission consistait à offrir la chance à des jeunes de pratiquer le basketball en Ouganda.

Plus de 100 participants étaient du tournoi et pour l’occasion, le ministre des Sports et la ministre de la Jeunesse du pays avaient été invités à y assister. De plus, à la suite de cette compétition, des cliniques d’information pour les entraîneurs et pour les jeunes ont aussi été instaurées. ABaCoDe, ou African Ball and Community Development, est un organisme sans but lucratif, dont l’objectif principal est d’aider les jeunes Africains à travers le sport.

Pourquoi le basketball ? « Parce que c’est notre passion, c’est un sport qu’on connaît bien et parce qu’au départ, on ne voulait pas leur imposer un sport. Dans ce pays, le basketball est une discipline toujours en expansion », mentionne Simon Gillespie, en entrevue avec le journal Les Versants.

En 2008, lors d’un premier voyage en Ouganda, les deux collègues se rendaient sur place afin de vérifier si leur projet était possible, si leur idée pouvait se concrétiser. Cet été, lors de leur retour de mai à août, ils ont conclu un partenariat avec la Mengo Senior School, une école secondaire composée de jeunes de 12 à 18 ans.

En échange d’un vieux terrain de basketball qui appartenait à l’école, les deux Montarvillois s’engageaient à former une équipe avec les étudiants. Au départ, leur projet s’adressait aux jeunes de la rue, qui n’allaient pas à l’école, qui ne faisaient rien de leur journée et ne parlaient pas anglais. « Ce que nous voulions, c’était de prendre les jeunes de la rue et les amener à jouer à autre chose que du soccer, leur inculquer de nouvelles valeurs et leur apprendre un sport collectif.

Grâce à l’école, nous avons rapidement eu accès à un terrain, mais celle-ci désirait quelque chose en échange, souhaitait être aussi gagnante dans cette collaboration », explique Simon Gillespie. En formant une équipe sportive avec les écoliers, les enfants de la communauté avaient en échange aussi accès au terrain.

Retrouvez la suite de leurs passionnantes aventures sur jet7basket.

La culture coloniale ou le subconscient français

La culture coloniale ou le subconscient français. Pascal Blanchard a travaillé sur la notion de culture coloniale en s’attachant aux conséquences, dans les métropoles, des enjeux coloniaux et leurs influences idéologiques.

La culture coloniale ou le subconscient français
5904/3- Manifestation DOM-TOM (Antillais) à Paris – employés des PTT (Postes) – 1973 – immigrés
©Gerald Bloncourt

Pascal Blanchard a étudié la question dans les domaines de la culture, de la politique, des expositions et de la littératures ! Il a publié de nombreux ouvrages et études dans cette perspective (notamment Images et coloniesMiroirs d’EmpireCulture colonialeCulture impérialeCulture post-coloniale).

Le dernier volet de ce travail a été publié aux CNRS Éditions (2008), dans le cadre d’un ouvrage collectif, sous le titre : Culture coloniale en France. De la Révolution française à nos jours (sous la direction de Pascal Blanchard, Sandrine Lemaire et Nicolas Bancel).

Voir la vidéo sur le La culture coloniale ou le subconscient français

Remember Gil Scott Heron one of the progenitors of hip-hop

Remember Gil Scott Heron. As an influential poet and musician, Scott-Heron is often credited with being one of the progenitors of hip-hop.

His collaborative efforts with musician Brian Jackson featured a musical fusion of jazz, blues, and soul, as well as lyrical content concerning social and political issues of the time, delivered in both rapping and melismatic vocal styles by Scott-Heron.

Remember Gil Scott Heron
Gil Scott Heron

His own term for himself was “bluesologist”, which he defined as “a scientist who is concerned with the origin of the blues.” 

His music, most notably on Pieces of a Man and Winter in America in the early 1970s, influenced and helped engender later African-American music genres such as hip hop and neo soul.

It’s impossible not to also recall his masterpiece jam, and some say, self-fulfilling prophecy, In The Bottle From his 1974 album “Winter In America”.  

Bonus track : The Revolution Will Not Be Televised (Full Band Version)

The Way you Make me Feel by Nina Mayers

The Way you Make me Feel. It was July eleventh ninety eight five when we first met. You welcomed me into this world with love, warmth and tenderness.

Little did I know that our paths would cross numerous times over the years. We were separated much too early and much too quickly. It was only 14 months after that first encounter, and my parents whisked me away and introduced me to another. He was rough, much like a savage… He did not share the finesse you had. He was loud, and lacked the love and compassion I needed. But it did not matter; we were forced together for the next five years and he gave me a home. He gave me friends that I no longer know today, he gave me my first real education and cemented the foundation for the person I soon became… for that I am eternally grateful. In the time that I spent with him, I went from baby steps to travelling on my own – I grew. I admit, I often ran away to see you… as always you welcomed me with open arms, you made me dream of the possibilities and every time I came back to him, I wandered when we would be together again.

…..

It was June nineteen ninety two when I laid eyes on you and was cognizant of the feelings bottled up inside. We were reunited – I will never forget that feeling, I had ran away, for good this time. There was no way I was going back to him. I snuck out of the house one summer with my aunt and never looked back. He would never see me again, and he had no idea. I was in paradise in your arms and nothing felt more natural. I was young and vulnerable, everything about you impressed me – your warmth; your tenderness and your sweet embrace.

……

A year later, in the summer of nineteen ninety three, my parents did not appreciate all the time we were spending together. They believed I still had a lot to learn, so, this time they introduced me to a woman – she would teach me the greater things in life.

They were prepared to let me explore the other side of things; they needed someone who would help me become a woman. I was older, still vulnerable but very curious. I remember her embrace: it was cold and sombre. We met in the middle of the night, or was it the early hours of the morning?…. dad was the one who introduced us; I was sceptical. I missed you and I wanted to come running back. But alas, this was my path now and I had to accept it. She took me in and as always gave me a home. It was weird for me, it was a whole new experience… she commuted with public transportation, she had huge big homes, and large green gardens… she spoke English and a foreign dialect; they called it Swahili – but to me it was gibberish. Her people where cold. They hardly looked at me as I walked the streets, I could not expect a simple hello. Daddy told me I would have to get used to her, he enrolled me in one of her best schools, he told me she would teach me to become a woman, he told me she would bring me utter joy – and because he was my daddy, the man that brought me into this world; I believed him. I put my fears aside and I plunged.

Eight years I gave her, eight years. I don’t regret it; she taught me the best things I know today. I was naughty, I was delinquent, I was good and at times I was just darn right insufferable. I matured here – she allowed me to develop and she pushed me to explore my potential. At times, I thought I was at my peak, the best I would ever be…she was preparing me for my big wedding, I did not know it at the time but they would send me millions of kilometres away to wed. In those eight years I saw you FOUR times, I could never seem to forget you. Every so now and then (every two years to be exact) I took time off to re-fuel… I came running to you, expecting you to understand why i was there.

The wedding was a year from now; far far away. My Parents knew I wouldn’t be coming back soon and allowed us to spend three glorious months together – there was never anyone like your first love. I discovered your inner core. I was here and we would make the most of it. We discovered the lands, and travelled the waters. We climbed mountains and sailed rivers. We were in unison. We learnt the languages, I perfected my French and we become one with the locals. Paradise I tell you. I was a young woman; you knew this because you offered me your best. I was ready for all and any challenges; if only I could stay with you, if only.

….

But as faith would have it. There was someone else waiting for me; the man who would severe the umbilical cord. We married in 2002. This is the man who would make me suffer like most adults do, who would teach me the true meaning of life. My big wedding was synonymous with “get out, be brave and conquer the world”. I met my best friends here but I never forgot you.

…..

It took me six years before I saw you again. I often thought about you. Today, I am here; but nothing is the same. We have grown apart – our relationship has deteriorated and am still trying to figure out why, I stayed honest to our love. You have changed, I have changed. But in spite of all your faults and weaknesses I still want you. You are my one true love; and no amount of time will change that. I am leaving you again; my divorce is not yet finalized. But, as soon as that part of my life is over – I will come running back, we will start again.

But know this, It often felt like I was cheating on you because I enjoyed the company of others; but my heart was always home. You have to understand, my life was not my own to live (for the first eighteen years) – they had already chosen a path for me, but now that I know the world, I know what I want…. Until we meet again; I remain rightfully yours.

Nota Bene: This is my Ode to Cameroon. My first love. The first man I met was Nigeria, the woman who made me mature was Kenya and the man I married was Canada. My love for Cameroun, my nation, and my hope that we can one day become a great nation is like a romantic dream. I believe in better social security, a more active citizenship and a responsible government. Just like that romantic dream, my dream for Cameroun has become illusive and sometimes feels unattainable. But don’t get me wrong, just like a hopeless romantic, I still dream and hope. Because hope is the most powerful tool for change!

If you could only wear one brand for the rest of your life ?

There’s a question i would ask to Miss Anna Wintour : If you could only wear one brand for the rest of your life what would it be ? And I bet she’s has no clue.

Il y’a une question que je voudrais poser à Mlle Anna Wintour: Si seulement vous pouviez porter une marque pour le reste de votre vie ce serait quoi? Et je parie qu’elle n’a aucune idée.

If you could only wear one brand for the rest of your life ?
If you could only wear one brand for the rest of your life ?

Alors ? Dites moi votre marque dans la section commentaire ou bien sur mon Twitter !

[via : fashionbombdaily]

10 Best Books on Presentations : Speaking PowerPoint

PowerPoint or Keynote are important tools every student or worker should know. So take a look at these 10 must-read books to master your next visual presentation.

  • Story, Robert McKee : 

    In Story, McKee expands on the concepts he teaches in his $450 seminars (considered a must by industry insiders), providing readers with the most comprehensive, integrated explanation of the craft of writing for the screen. No one better understands how all the elements of a screenplay fit together, and no one is better qualified to explain the “magic” of story construction and the relationship between structure and character than Robert McKee.

  • Moving Mountains, Henry Boettinger

  • Advanced Presentations by Design, Andrew Abela :

    Advanced Presentations by Design overturns much of the conventional wisdom and practice for creating presentations. Based on over 200 research studies from the fields of communication, marketing, psychology, multimedia, and law, it provides fact-based answers to critical questions about presentation design, including how to adapt your presentation to different audience personality preferences, what role your data should play and how much of it you need, how to turn your data into a story, and how to design persuasive yet comprehensible visual layouts.

  • The Leader’s Guide to Storytelling, Stephen Denning :

    This revised and updated edition of the best-selling book A Leader’s Guide to Storytelling shows how storytelling is one of the few ways to handle the most important and difficult challenges of leadership: sparking action, getting people to work together, and leading people into the future. Using myriad illustrative examples and filled with how-to techniques, this book clearly explains how you can learn to tell the right story at the right time.

  • Resonate, Nancy Duarte (this one is a really great book) :

    Presentations are meant to inform, inspire, and persuade audiences. So why then do so many audiences leave feeling like they’ve wasted their time? All too often, presentations don’t resonate with the audience and move them to transformative action. Just as the author’s first book helped presenters become visual communicators, Resonate helps you make a strong connection with your audience and lead them to purposeful action. The author’s approach is simple: building a presentation today is a bit like writing a documentary. Using this approach, you’ll convey your content with passion, persuasion, and impact.

  • Beyond Bullet Points, Cliff Atkinson :

    Unlock the amazing story buried in your presentation—and forget boring, bullet-point-riddled slides forever! Guided by communications expert Cliff Atkinson, you’ll walk you through an innovative, three-step methodology for increasing the impact of your presentation. Discover how to combine classic storytelling techniques with the power of visual media to create a rich, engaging experience with your audience. Fully updated for PowerPoint 2010, and featuring compelling presentation examples from classroom to boardroom, this book will help transform your presentations—and your business impact!

  • 7-Slide Solution(tm), Paul Kelly :

    A unique approach to organizing and constructing business presentations that draws on the insights of cognitive psychology and provides an infrastructure to build presentations that resonate with your audience like a good story.

  • The Story Factor, Annette Simmons :

    The new material for this revised edition offers an expanded case study of storytelling in action that focuses on one of Simmons’s success stories. Over one hundred stories drawn from the front lines of business and government, as well as myths, fables, and parables from around the world, illustrate how story can be used to persuade, motivate, and inspire in ways that cold facts, bullet points, and directives can’t. These stories, combined with practical storytelling techniquesshow anyone how to become a more effective communicator. From “who I am” to “I-know-what-you’re thinking,” Simmons identifies the six stories you need to know how to tell and demonstrates how they can be applied. This revised edition offers a guide to using storytelling in specific business circumstances, including corporate reorganizations, layoffs, and diversity issues.

  • Transformational Speaking, Gail Larsen :

    While most books on public speaking focus on polishing your presentation and overcoming fear, Larsen’s holistic blend of spirit and logic goes far beyond the standard format, making TRANSFORMATIONAL SPEAKING a must-read for even the most seasoned speechmakers. With her uniquely inspirational approach, Larsen reaches out to those who want to make a genuine difference in our world by changing minds through touching hearts.

  • Made to Stick, Chip & Dan Heath (great ideas to make your ideas stick) :

    Made to Stick is a book that will transform the way you communicate ideas. It’s a fast-paced tour of success stories (and failures)–the Nobel Prize-winning scientist who drank a glass of bacteria to prove a point about stomach ulcers; the charities who make use of “the Mother Teresa Effect”; the elementary-school teacher whose simulation actually prevented racial prejudice. Provocative, eye-opening, and often surprisingly funny, Made to Stick shows us the vital principles of winning ideas–and tells us how we can apply these rules to making our own messages stick.

Which book you recommend to master Power Point ?