Should we be specific about the men we want to marry ?
There is a list for everything out there. There are shopping lists, best dressed lists, most expensive cars list, eligible bachelors list, top 10 most expensive hotel rooms for the world cup teams list and so on and so forth. One of the most important lists a girl makes is the list of her requirements for the kind of guy she wants. Eventually as she becomes a woman, her list either radically diminishes or her expectations change drastically. When asked, ‘how many men have you been with?’ most, if not all women down play the real number. For reasons particular to each woman they tend not to divulge, but mostly it is to avoid that very negative connotation that implies one is how should I say? a h*e (Huey voice) or as my good friend often refers to it; ‘the shake your tail feather’ kinda girls.
Yes indeed. Real talk.
I have it down to a science or at least my alter ego does. She’s a free spirit kind of girl. The one guys like and women hate. She doesn’t really have a list of requirements but she does have list of a typical men and how they come about to interact in her life. She’s learned to identify them from a distance and subsequently classify them into categories, that avoid all confusion from the get go and enable her to sort out her little black book. Why the importance of the black book? Well she can call on each categorized man when the need arises…:)
The A list Men
These are the degree having, women seeking; I got everything going for me kind of guys. The potential husband material and the I look good on his arm kind of brother. He doesn’t have to be Boris Kodjoe or Common like looking but he sure as hell got to have some class. He is the bring you home to my mama variety. The I can have a straight conversation with you without even wondering ‘what’s his level of education?’ They are not always smooth talkers but they are the kind that knows what they want. This is the boyfriend, relationship material kind of guy. Out of ten men, there usually only one or two… And most times he’s taken. Am looking for that needle in my hay stack. In the little black book, this is the brother you call when your ready to be serious; or you want to present to a girl who deserves a good man (although ‘good man’ is a VERY relative term) A list gets an A for effort
The B list Casanova
Everything that comes out of his mouth is sweet like candy! Your name rolls off his mouth like honey. Casanova. Hot like Idris Elba or Tyrese. Your name in his voice gives you shivers. You tend to avoid him because with him you’re just not yourself. He’s good for your fantasies but bad for your self control. He is the numerous relationship kind of guy, the one who is possibly in an open relationship and you don’t even know it. Treats you so good in bed, you forget he’s an ass out there. This is the sucker that might even make you waste years off your life. Making promises he ain’t never going to keep but you’re too entwined to see the difference. Ladies be careful of these types…. My alter ego loves them because she’s too busy for commitment. There good for stimulating the pseudo evidence of a relationship. This type doesn’t always make it into the black book, but they are good to have around for the ego . This Casanova we all go through, in fact he is often the one that teaches us to become more vigilant and less naive.
Best Friend List
This is the guy that is like your brother, lover rolled into one. There are very few of these ones. You’ve shared so much (sometimes even more than words). You mutually respect each other and love everything about each other. The reason he gets along so well with you is because you fit the profile of the buddy buddy, the good friend and according to him some day you would make another man the happiest person on earth. You’ve thought about it before, a relationship with ‘the’ friend but you wonder is it worth it? These friends are few but every girl has one. The hardest thing is not crossing the line…this is the relationship where one of you always has other intentions, but you keep mute about it (thinking its the best thing). In the little black book, this guy has the number one spot. This is the guy you would probably come running back to when you start to reach that ‘old age’ the one where everyone is starting to tell you you need to get your act together and meet a man. Sometimes it works, sometimes well… (after thought; can girls and guys truly be JUST friends lol)
The C list Fix
This is the list that my alter ego absolutely adores. The no questions asked list. The non committal, I don’t owe you any kind of explanation kind of adventure. The guys that appear on this list know that when they are called upon it is not for any Hollywood like stories or any romantic fantasies. These are the days of our lives adventures, the ones that start and end the way they began. The men on this list are often very good at what they do and the women who encounter them know how to be distant. IT takes separating emotion from sex and remembering that it is not a relationship. In the little black book, he is a must have. He is the quick fix, the crack and the missing lime. See he is like a good tequila on a long hard day. But in the book, you never put his real name… Code name. This is the guy you need THE manual with. 😉
So who is in YOUR little black book ?