I have to admit that I have gotten various requests to write on the Interracial relationships issue.
I smile whenever the topic is brought up or when a black girl complains that we already have a shortage of men and that she is tired other races competing with us. Am still smiling about it right now, even as I prepare to tell you all about my naked truth on the issue.
I am a black woman. Cameroonian by nationality and world citizen by affinity. That is who I am and no am sorry it doesn’t bother me when I see a black man with a white woman (or vice versa for that matter). So there you have it. That is my truth about interracial relationships. THEY DO NOT BOTHER ME, I don’t really care who dates who and who does what with who. I have to admit I do find it awkward when it is perhaps a Chinese girl or Indian lady with a black guy (but I have to guess that is only because it is not too common where I hang around lol)
So there you have it: I don’t really care – stop asking me what I think because it will always be the same answer. We don’t always choose who we fall for. In fact most of the arguments I find are usually said out of spite and jealousy and never convince me… Do I understand why it bothers some people? Yes perhaps, we want to date by affinity, we want to be proud of our heritage etc etc… while you are at it, please tell me why it bothers you? So perhaps I may understand. That’s the end of that.
What I care about?
What does bother me or rather what intrigues me is HOW DO they do it? How do those inter racial relationships actually work? How do they over come the differences? The reason why it intrigues me so much is because it got me thinking about how inter tribal, inter-faith, inter-height (lol shout to @MrKeepOnMoving) relationships work? A relationship is hard already on its own, so when you come from different backgrounds I imagine it is three times even five times harder. SO how do they do it? How do they balance and how do they accept?
Most people aren’t too keen on compromise. I guess the whole idea is firstly one of ACCEPTANCE. Once that phase is passed, perhaps the next thing to think about and look into is COMMUNICATION. Given the high potential for conflict one must accept and realise that there will be a lot of talking … As far as am concerned these couples need PATIENCE, COMPROMISE, compromise and more compromise…. More so than others non?
From my observations couples who find themselves in these inter”something” relationships don’t usually have a problem, very often they have found each other and they are basking in all this love. They see beyond the differences. But THE problem usually arises when they have to make decisions about children, where to live etc etc *but don’t all couples go through this?*. Furthermore, family loves to and I mean loooves to put their grain of salt into the whole issue (don’t they do the same in regular relationships?)! Call me crazy but those EXTERNAL INFLUENCES are often the downward spiral into the abyss of “destruction” for all relationships BUT particularly for INTER something ones. Why you ask? Because it is so EASY to play on those differences. SO inter something relationships have the same issues that regular relationships have, so what do you want me to tell you? It’s all the same non? The one relationship that I can see being quite difficult is the inter-faith one, picture a Catholic marrying a Muslim, it’s worked for some…
So I want to know? HOW DO YOU DO IT? Please tell me, because obviously i have no idea – or I would be telling you my naked truth. So tell me, tell me, TELL ME!