Peace & Calm in memory of PC Ouandji

image peace and calm

Peace & Calm in memory of PC Ouandji

Tall. Handsome and Charming. Evidently, always smiling.

You were dressed down in your usual Jeans and a t-shirt apparel. Sneakers, a hat and hoodie to complement your mood. If I didn’t know you better, I would say you probably walked off a basketball court before boarding that plane to come visit

Seven hour flight. I was impatient to see you. I watched you come through customs and couldn’t retain myself from jumping. Finally you were here.  I rushed to you with no hesitation, hoping your hugs still felt the same. In the last ten years, i could count the number of times I felt them.  I didn’t see you much, life kept you busy, but every time I did it was pure joy

Four years it had been since the last visit. Yet, I still I remembered your fragrance. It was now lingering on my jacket. I remembered how it often kept me safe through those early years. Knowing you were always there when I needed you most.

Tonight we would celebrate. I would cook and you would eat. Music, dance and sports. Your passions. Tonight you would tell me all about your future plans. I would convince you to finally make the move from Europe to Canada; your family was here. Tonight I would thank God for bringing you back alive, for keeping you safe for three years now, for allowing you to survive.

You were safe and sound – I would never let you take another plane in this lifetime. Tonight I had you to myself.

I woke up from a dream this morning and in that dream I saw you. This morning I was at peace; because in that dream you were still the same man I knew. Tall, Handsome and Charming. Somehow your message to me was clear.  I couldn’t turn back the hands of time; no matter how hard i tried. But I could keep your memory alive and spend time with you in my dreams. You brought me Peace & Calm this morning.  In that world that simply belonged to us we could talk, laugh and cry like we often did on those weekends over the phone.

I want to dream every night and visit a new place with you  – I love you Peace & Calm.