How to Get a Friends With Benefits Relationship
I think the battle for equality and feminism has taken other dimensions… Although it may have nothing to do with my subject all together I think in the sexual world, women have reached some sort of equal opportunity status. Granted the double standard will ALWAYS remain when it comes to women…but you have to admit that we have come a long way; it is considered okay if not “standard” for a woman to do a “hit and run” just like any other guy and not particularly get judged. At least in my world it is.
You still have those women, who like to act all mighty and righteous and want us to sincerely believe that they don’t casually date or indulge in casual sex. It ain’t a thing that belongs only to men no more and well quite frankly it doesn’t make you a bad person. Forget all together the issue of the number of guys a girl has been with (because there is an acceptable number for some guys)…double standards I tell you…but quite frankly that is not what I am here to discuss today. In another post we will talk about “your number”
I am here to talk about casual sex….FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS (F*** friends if you may)
Here is my Manual!
You have to follow rules in order to not get caught up and hurt. It is usually very easy for the guy to handle his shit and just move right along; but because us girls like to get emotional over every shitty little thing; we get hung up quite easily; I can see her getting glassy eyed coz he brought her breakfast in bed…shoot; so what? He was cute right? Bull… In fact the rules shouldn’t even allow for that kind of shit, and well if he does it, it don’t mean jack shit; maybe he just wants to get “seconds”.
My female counterparts might not appreciate me talking like this; I will be accused of degrading women and relegating women to being sex objects; I know it, I can see it – but do I care?…they won’t say it out loud but they will be thinking it, it will be written all over their faces. Please feel free to express yourselves; this is a FREE WORLD. I am Nina Mayers and I don’t give a damn… This is a low down dirty truth…women have needs and they too have a right to satisfy them; we can’t all be in relationships! I am all for empowering women; and I think my manual gives women the tools to be the masters of their own vices – I said it, sue me. You own the cookie, make him work for the milk.
Now be very careful, I am not advocating promiscuity. If and when done right; the power is in your hands; it is and always will be your right to say no. And my message of empowerment to women (is not completely lost)….
- First things first, REMOVE THE WORD FRIEND…. This is a BENEFITS RELATIONSHIP; that’s all you are sharing here.
- Select a “mature” individual = this is perhaps the hardest part I know; but you have to be with someone you know you won’t have to worry about your name being slandered. You have to feel comfortable enough with the person to know that there is at least some “element of respect” – nothing worse than hearing outside ‘what a wh*re you are’
- Ask yourself if it is what you truly want… (ok maybe that should have been the first question)… Remember the only person who can judge you is God and yourself; so if you are not doing it because of what you think others might think of you then …. Turn around!
- Most people think it is better to take someone in a relationship – because “the relationship” creates an immediate barrier to stop it from going anywhere; that’s where you are wrong… AVOID DRAMA, because if you don’t want drama, she (the other women) will certainly want it… Choose a man that does not want to be emotionally attached; we are women we actually have a radar for these men! 🙂
- Now here are the most important rules:
- This is not a friendship or relationship or any kind of “SHIP”; I will say it again; you do not share anything other than the “physical”;
- Talking should be kept to a bare minimum; completely superficial – no personal shit, not how was my day, no unloading, no talk about how you make me feel…. .talk politics, sports or whatever other “boring” shit will keep it plain and simple. You know the kind of BS you talk about with that guy u got to the restaurant with but don’t even like…
- No phone calls, texts, emails, twitter or facebook….when you do communicate; its to set a date and time for your rendezvous. Why you liking his posts? Retweeting him? Text him sweet nothings? Why? Why?
- I should have said this before: choose someone you are physically attracted to – benefits? Remember! Why would you want to have fun with someone you ain’t even attracted to?
- NO SLEEPING OVER – when its done its done; if you remeber nothing else, remember this one!
- The key thing is here is to separate the sex from emotion; hard perhaps but it is what it is – the shorter the “relationship”; the easier (better)…. Anything that lasts over time tends to become “sticky”
- Oh I almost forgot…. Most importantly; you BOTH have to be on the same page; so agree on the finer points of the “terms of the contract” when one of you violates; WALK AWAY…. Because you should never expect it to become anything more. Walk away man, walk away – you wouldn’t continue a business deal the other partner breached?
That’s my naked truth; now you can bombard me!