What kind of guy thinks ‘what up shorty?’ is engaging !

It’s about 8pm, it’s getting a little dark; the last rays of the sun are going down. I feel a little hungry and am too lazy to even attempt to cook plus am yearning for some fast food. So, I decide to take a stroll down my alley and up and over the freeway to get me some McDonalds *cravings I tell you*. It takes me a little while to decide while am at the counter. not only do I not have my glasses on (so I can’t read the menu) but am feeling a little guilty at the choice of meal. I finally settle for something and walk out thinking to myself, maybe I should walk a little fast and burn a couple of calories before I swallow a whole lot more (I have a twisted logic when it comes to food)…And none of this has anything to do with waht am going to talk about but food I tell you, food!

shortyOn my walk back (as on my walk there) my iPod is playing with only one side of the earphone hooked to me (a force of habit; I need to know what’s going on around me). I am listening to some good old zouk music, humming and signing and just enjoying my stroll. As I walk past the park, I see some people balling, but don’t pay much attention. And then, I hear someone shout. I think to myself they can’t be addressing me. Besides, am to into my music to even care. But as I continue my walk, I hear it again, this time a little more distinct, the person is saying, “what up shorty?” across the grills separating the court from the pavement… I laugh a little and turn around to see where it’s coming from. By now it’s a little darker and much harder to make out faces, but I give this guy my most defiant look…it says, say what you said one more time. I don’t seem to intimidate him enough, because sure as hell, he throws another “what up shorty?” at me.

I look down at myself; just to see how am dressed. Just to make sure that I don’t look like a shorty. And sure enough am in white linen pants and a black tee (hold up! What does a shorty look like? Hell if know but I know am no shorty). I think to myself, he is joking right… I give him another look, this one daunting, defying him to try one more time, and all the while am trying to make out his face and figure out what kind of guy thinks ‘what up shorty?’ is engaging!

I put on the other side of my earphone (as a sure sign that I don’t care) and continue pacing at my usual rate. I see him walking along on the other side of the park, trying to catch up with me and just before I zone out into my musical universe, I hear, “c’mon shorty, don’t do me like that…”

Who the hell is your damn shorty ?

Note to men:

    1. Grown women do NOT find the rapper/street/gangster look or attitude  engaging  (unless your jay Z they say.. Lol)
    2. If your going to attack me in the streets then be smooth about it,  I can’t teach you that
      1. All the “shorty”, “mami”, “baby”, “niggarette” in the world won’t help – it is not engaging!
    3. Women like compliments, start there- you might get a flicker of a second
    4. Come at me with the vibe that am giving up ( i doubt my vibe was saying shorty)

Listen am not a man, but I know that What up shorty just didn’t work… If at 1st you don’t succeed, dust yourself and Try again.

Naked ladies what do you NOT like to hear? What engages you? Men how smooth do you get? Holla

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