Westgate Mall in Nairobi, Kenya : There will be No Regrets
This really shouldn’t be how I address you, but you have left me no choice. One might wonder why am even bothering to write this – I have to convince myself that in some cosmic way you will hear my cry as i throw this into the universe.
You were so brutally taken away from us that I never got a chance to make amends. I never got the chance to thank you for your unconditional support and caring nature, I never got the chance to tell you how grateful I was, but more importantly, I never got the chance to tell you how much I cared for and appreciated you as a friend.
I let life take over and come between us. I did not play my part in the friendship to nurse the ship that was slowly sinking. I just always assumed you would always be there. That some day we would sit and talk about it, that we would laugh over the pettiness (or was it neglect?) that kept us away all these years. And, that like back then when we were who we were, it would be water under the bridge after a good screaming match, a Busta Rhymes rhythm and a quick shot of something strong.
But even more so my dear friend, I regret not watching you grow. Not being part of the next big moments of your life (when I was there during the transition) – your career advanements, your upcoming wedding, your desire to have a family. I truly and deeply regret it, but I am also comforted in knowing that you found your peace and your way. Our conversations now resonate, and if I could do things differently, I would be there (even if in the shadows) every step of the way, watching you realise the every single dream we so often spoke about.
In your passing, you set an example. And generations will talk about you for years to come; and that to me will always be a bitter sweet reminder of what I missed out on, but also of who you had grown to be. A great individual, filled with ambition and passion, who knew true love (and died for and with that love). More so, this will be a constant reminder to me to always nurse those “relationships” I cherish, and not find myself at crossroads of “what ifs” – because we always said, “no regrets”. The time to love is now and not tomorrow.
I may never be able to say these words to you physically, but know this: I cared, I care. Am sorry. And I will miss you. So in honour of you, there will be NO REGRETS, simply a “see you later”, and at that time, I give you full permission to scold me and then we can patch things up.
I will celebrate your life, share your story & keep your memory alive, till we meet again.